• 2009-11-14

    15:28:01
    by 九斤毛豆
    最爱毛豆

    豆豆语录

    对中国历史的浓厚兴趣让豆豆爱上了听评书。
    于是在网上给他下了《水浒》和《三国》的评书音频,
    刻成碟子每晚睡前让豆豆听上半个小时。

    听了几周以后,豆豆说话带上了浓厚的评书腔,
    时不时冒出些评书常用语,把大家听得一愣一愣的。

    今天中午豆妈和豆豆闹了点小别扭,
    豆豆坐在餐桌边生闷气。
    妈妈伸出手要和豆豆和好,
    豆豆气鼓鼓地说道:

    “我才不要跟你和好呢!
        我对你有一天二地仇,三江四海恨!”

  • 2009-10-14

    12:30:00
    by 九斤毛豆
    最爱毛豆

    豆豆语录 16

    豆豆进入五岁以后对历史非常感兴趣,
    尤其爱听三国和春秋战国时期的故事。
    所以这段时间以来每晚都是让豆爸给他讲个历史故事,
    然后他才会心满意足地进入梦乡。

    这天晚上豆爸有应酬,很晚才能回家,
    讲故事的任务当然就落到了豆妈身上。

    “豆豆,妈妈给你讲个三只小猪的故事吧!”
    “嗯…… 能不能换一个?”
    “那白雪公主和七个小矮人怎么样?”
    “呃……”
    “要不给你讲个海的女儿,好不好?”


    豆豆躺在黑暗中沉默了几秒,然后哀怨地叹道:

    “ 唉!爸爸每次给我讲的都是历史故事,
         可你说的这些都是童话故事。

         你这个女人哪——  真是太幼稚啦~ ”

     

  • 2009-09-27

    11:15:59
    by 九斤毛豆
    西洋译海

    好玩的英文笑话段子集锦

    下面的内容来自今天收到的一封已被转发N次的邮件。
    那我就在博客上转发第N+1次吧~ ^_^

    In the 1400's a law was set forth in  England  
    that a man was allowed 
    to beat his wife with
    a stick no thicker than his thumb. 

    Hence we have 'the rule of thumb' 

    --------- --------- --------- ---- 

    Many years ago in Scotland, a new game
    was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen 
    Only
    ...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word
    GOLF entered 
    into the English language. 

    --------- --------- --------- ---- 


    The first couple to be shown in bed together
    on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma 
    Flintstone. 



    --------- --------- --------- ---- 

    Every day more money is printed for Monopoly 
    than the U.S. 
    Treasury.. 

    -- ------------ --------- -------- 

    Men can read smaller print than women can;
    women can hear better. 


    --------- --------- --------- ---- 

    Coca-Cola was originally green. 

    --------- --------- --------- ---- 

    It is impossible to lick your elbow. 

    --------- --------- --------- ---- 

    The State with the highest percentage of
    people who walk to work:
     

    Alaska 

    --------- --------- --------- ---- 

    The percentage of Africa that is wilderness:
    28% (now get 
    this...) 


    --------- --------- --------- ---- 

    The percentage of 
    North America that is wilderness: 38% 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    The cost of raising a medium-size dog
    to the age of eleven: 


    $ 16,400 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ 

    The average number of people airborne
    over the U.S. in any given 
    hour: 

    61,000 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    Intelligent people have more zinc and copper
    in their hair..
     


    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 


    The first novel ever written on a typewriter:

    Tom Sawyer. 


    -- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    The San Francisco Cable cars are the only
    mobile National 
    Monuments. 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    Each king in a deck of playing cards
    represents a great king from history: 



    Spades - King David 

    Hearts - Charlemagne 

    Clubs -Alexander, the Great 

    Diamonds - Julius Caesar 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    111,111,111 x 111,111,111
    = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
     

    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
    has both front legs in the air, 
    the person
    died in battle.
    If the horse has one front leg in 
    the air, the
    person died because of wounds received
    in battle. 

    If the horse has all four legs on the ground,
    the person died 
    of natural causes 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------  


    Only two people signed the Declaration
    of Independence on July 4, John Hancock 

    and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed
    on August 2, but 
    the last signature wasn't
    added until 5 years later. 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    Q: Half of all Americans live within 50
         miles of what?
     

    A: Their birthplace 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    Q: Most boat owners name their boats. 
         What is the most popular boat name 
        
    requested? 

    A: Obsession 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    Q: If you were to spell out numbers, how far
        would you have to go until you 
    would
        find the letter 'A'? 


    A: One 
    thousand 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

    Q: What do 
    bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
         windshield wipers and laser 
    printers
         have in common? 


    A: All were invented by women. 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

     

    Q: What is the only food that doesn't spoil? 

    A: Honey 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------  



    Q: Which day are there more collect calls than
         any other day of the 
    year? 

    A: Father's Day 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were
    secured on bed frames by ropes. 
    When you
    pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, 
    making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight' 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000
    years ago that for a month after the 
    wedding,
    the bride's father would supply his son-in-law
    with 
    all the mead he could drink. Mead is a
    honey beer and because 
    their calendar
    was lunar based, this period was called
    the 
    honey month, which we know today as
    the honeymoon. 



    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and
    quarts.... So in old  England, when 
    customers
    got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
    'Mind 
    your pints and quarts, and settle down.' 
    It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's
    and Q's'
     

    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    Many years ago in England, pub frequenters
    had
    a whistle baked into the rim, or handle,
    of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
    refill, 
    they used the whistle to get some
    service. 'Wet your whistle' 
    is the phrase
    inspired by this practice. 


    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    At least 75% of people who read this will try to
    lick their 
    elbow! 

    --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- 

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when... 

    1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the
        microwave. 


    2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards
        in years.
     

    3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to
        reach your family of 
    three. 

    4. You e-mail the person who works at the
        desk next to you.
     

    5. Your reason for not staying in touch with
        friends and family is that they 
    don't have
        e-mail addresses. 


    6. You pull up in your own driveway and use
        your cell phone to see if anyone is 
    home
        to help you carry in the groceries.
     

    7. Every commercial on television has a
        web site at the bottom of the screen 


    8.. Leaving the house without your cell phone,
        which you didn't even have the first 
    20 or 30
        (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause
        for panic 
    and you turn around to go and get it. 

    10. You get up in the morning and go on line
        before getting your 
    coffee 

    11. You start 
    tilting your head sideways
          to smile. : ) 


    12 You're reading this and nodding
         and laughing.
     

    13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you 
          are going to forward this 
    message. 

    14. You are too busy to notice
          there was no #9 on this list. 


    15. You actually scrolled back up to check
          that there wasn't a #9 on this 
    list 


    ~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~ 

    NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. 


    Go on, forward this to your friends.
    You know you want to!
    Go lick your 
    elbow.

  • 2009-09-23

    08:17:22
    by 九斤毛豆
    最爱毛豆

    豆豆语录 15

    昨天放学回家的路上,
    豆豆得意地告诉我他在幼儿园打了胜仗,
    对手是他们班上一位以彪悍泼辣著称的女生。

    我连忙告诉他好孩子不应该打架,
    只见他两手一摊,耸耸肩膀:

    “妈妈,是她先跑过来打我的,
       那我又怎么能坐以待毙呢?”

  • 2009-09-22

    08:28:26
    by 九斤毛豆
    近厨得食

    鲜美无敌蒸牡蛎

    昨晚做的蒸牡蛎,那是相当滴成功。
    成功到只顾着吃,绝不可能兴起拍张照片装点博客的杂念。

    因此只能是无图无真相了,
    真相早被我吃到肚子里去袅 hia-hia-hia~


    之前也做过好几次牡蛎,
    有单炒,有炖蘑菇,还有和其他什锦海鲜同烩。
    但今天尝试过蒸牡蛎才知道,
    对最鲜美的食材而言,蒸着吃才是王道。
    螃蟹要蒸,小龙虾要蒸,牡蛎也是如此。

    除了鲜美无比之外,蒸着吃尚有简便易行的优点,
    实在是我等又馋又懒之人的大爱!

    现将炮制方法记录如下:

    1. 单冻牡蛎肉解冻,数量随意。
       我是在麦德龙买的,个头和餐馆里的炭烤生蚝还稍大一点。
        可怜我们这些身处内陆的人,只能做冻海鲜来解馋,哭一个~
        但即便是冻海鲜已然如此味美了,啧啧!
        寒假要能如愿去海南,一定把活蹦乱跳的吃个够!!)

    2. 用压蒜器做一小碗蒜蓉(21只牡蛎我用了7瓣蒜,后来发现量还少了点儿)
        再往蒜蓉里放入一点点麻油、生抽、白糖、老干妈(连豆豉带红油),
        我还加了一点李锦记的旧庄蚝油来提味,事实证明果然鲜美!

    3. 把解冻好的牡蛎摊放在盘中,沥干水分,
        然后淋入料酒,再把腌好味道的蒜蓉均匀地铺在每只牡蛎上。

    4. 蒸锅加水,大火蒸至水滚,
        将盛好牡蛎的盘子放入蒸锅中,大火蒸6分钟即可。


    21只牡蛎,一向对海鲜敬而远之的豆爸尝了一只,
    说比外面餐馆做得还好吃。
    这家伙拍马屁的功夫还真是逐年见长!

    豆豆也夸好吃,但没敢给小家伙多吃,只给了三个。
    其余的十几个当然就被我一个人独吞了,痛快!

    下次宴客,咱又有一道拿得出手的菜啦!

     

  • 2009-09-21

    07:17:27
    by 九斤毛豆
    葱不装蒜

    未来女战士李宇春

     

    2009年9月19日李宇春在韩国“亚洲音乐节”上获“亚洲最佳女歌手”的表演照。

  • 2009-09-20

    10:57:29
    by 九斤毛豆
    好好活着

    香榭丽舍,记忆的味道~

    昨天在中南花园饭店做了一天的评委,从早七点直到晚八点,一个字:累!
    兜里的评审费还没捂热呢,就寻思着要给自己送个小礼物,
    于是在夜色中直奔自己常去的那家化妆品店,
    本想去再买一瓶Envy,居然在店里看到找了很久的这瓶Champs Elysees,
    赶紧掏出两张大钞搞定!

    据说记忆中存留时间最长的是味道。
    许多人在垂暮之年弥留之际心心念念的不过是恋人的体香,
    或是一碗飘香的妈妈牌爱心菜。

    比如这瓶Champs Elysees,
    瓶盖打开的瞬间就让我回到九八年的初夏,毕业实习的那段日子,
    地点是女生宿舍属于我的那张上铺床。
    人物有我,还有那个胖乎乎却长得很有韵味的女孩“康师傅”,
    就是这瓶“香榭丽舍”,就是这抹微酸的花香,
    让我有了一夜好梦,让我在记忆中将这味道封存了十数年。

    来看看这个晶莹的瓶子里到底装着什么味道吧:

    DESIGN HOUSE - Guerlain
    YEAR INTRODUCED - 1996
    CLASSIFICATION - flowery
    FRAGRANCE NOTES

    Top Notes: mimosa leaf, almond blossom, floral rose
    前调:含羞草叶、杏花、玫瑰

    Middle Notes: Buddleia, mimosa blossom
    中调:醉鱼草、合欢花

    Base Notes:  almond wood, hibiscus, hibiscus seed
    尾调:扁桃木、芙蓉、木槿子

    这些花花草草大都陌生得很,不过名字都很美。
    但不管配料表里列了些什么,
    在我看来,这瓶子里装着的就是记忆,且是很美好的那一段。

  • 2009-09-19

    09:11:27
    by 九斤毛豆
    葱不装蒜

    好可爱的李医生!

     

    啊~~~~~ 李医生笑得真美!

    现实生活中的医生都长成这样儿该有多好!

  • 2009-09-18

    18:26:29
    by 九斤毛豆
    最爱毛豆

    “不饱”也是一种营养素哦~

    “妈妈,我想问你一个问题。”

    刚刚吃晚饭的时候,
    豆豆嚼着心爱的卤肉皮,扬起小脑袋认真地向我发问。

    “妈妈,‘不饱’是什么意思?是不是指吃不饱?”

    在得到我肯定的答复之后,
    豆豆微微皱起眉头抛出他的下一个问题:

    “妈妈不是总说要多吃点儿才有营养吗?
      那为什么我看见儿童百科全书上说‘不饱’也是一种营养素呢?”

    啊?不会吧!我惊诧莫名,赶紧追问豆豆那书上的原话是怎么说的。

    “妈妈,书上是这么说的——
      ‘不饱’和‘脂肪酸’是重要的营养素。”

    哈! 原来是这么个“不饱”!


    看来在小豆豆的心目中,
    除了“凉茶”之外,
    也许还有这么一种好喝又解暑的饮料,
    它的名字就叫做“致中”哦!

     

  • 2009-09-18

    05:27:17
    by 九斤毛豆
    乱弹乱炖

    放得下才能担得起

    暑假一结束,生活的节奏就快到喘不过气,
    行将结束的这一周更是让人累到快崩溃。
    什么叫心力交瘁,这一周就是最好的注脚:

    身为一个路痴,一连数天以双脚丈量几乎整个珞珈山,筋疲骨劳,实在是累。
    身为一个社交恐惧症患者,一下子被扯入一群熟悉的陌生人中,
    尚要在漩涡里把酒言欢,心更疲累。

    累到身心都感觉不属于自己之后,便会胡乱找一个outlet来减压:
    这在我几乎是一定的。
    于是昨夜抓住豆豆犯下的错误小题大做狂呼乱叫了一番。

    看着他哭红的眼睛,我在心里对自己说:
    Jenny, you're losing it. Damn you!

    当我在路口彷徨失措,绝望得几乎要失去信仰时,
    总会收到来自上天的message,慰藉我,点醒我,将我拉回轨道上:
    这几乎更是一定的。

    于是,早上5点起来,来到这片荒芜多日的豆田,
    但见页面右上角写着这么一句话:

    Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

    我就这样被拉回来了。

    没错,人贵在自知,
    知道自己擅长做什么,不擅长做什么,而什么又是无论如何挣扎也做不到;
    知道什么事必定要做,什么事不妨一做,什么可做可不做,而什么又万万不能做。

    那些自己再努力也做不来的事会让人沮丧,
    那些万万不能做的事看上去永远那么诱人。
    但是,John Wooden说得对,
    Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

    既然知其不可为,那就安之若命吧。
    重要的是,
    在认命的解脱之后,
    迎着自己的宿命,
    一路坦然而执着地,前行。